Got this as an email from one of my girlfriends, and it's just too funny! You may have read it before, but I just had to share it and I will apologize ahead of time if it sounds too obscene for you. Enjoy!
The Day the P*nis asked for a Raise
I, the P*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear P*nis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
and...I do mean Welcome! Selamat Datang! Aloha! I extend a warm welcome and am glad that you could stop by and read my blog. It simply contains general musings and ramblings about things that concern and/or interest me.
So kick back, click away and don't forget...enjoy your visit!
"So you want to know me? Romantic and logical ~ Loyal and always true ~ Funloving crazy and very quiet when needed ~
Sensible and down to earth...to sum it up, I guess I'm pretty much a "nice girl", hopefully in a good way, who's also a bit of a geek"
Here I am as perfect as I'm ever going to be.
You'll see, love me for me.
Stick around, I'm not the kind of girl you wanna leave.
You'll see, love me for me.
"With a birthday on the 5th of the month you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility".