Friday, February 03, 2006

Rules for Driving

If you are going to share the road with me, here are some rules that I expect you to know ~

  • Pay attention!

  • If you're not paying attention when you're driving on the road, damnit get off the road. I don't care if you're arguing with your kids or spouse, or trying to read a map, or kissing your girlfriend/boyfriend...either you concentrate on driving or get off the road!! By the way, do your makeup before you actually leave the house!

  • Do not rubberneck!

  • Watch the road, not the accident you see or some poor guy getting a ticket or even the dude changing his tire on the side of the road. He seems to have it completely under control. Don't need you to slow down and stare like some kid!!

  • Use your signals!

  • I can't trust people any more to use their turn signals. What is so hard about this, people? Signal your fooking intentions. Seriously ~ I have to assume now that anyone who can't use a turn signal has some sort of trouble with driving. When people don't use their turn signals, thereby threatening my safety, I'm infuriated. It's gotten to the point now where I can't be sure whether anyone is turning, switching lanes or going straight! Use your freaking turn signal! I have a proposal for automobile manufacturers and consumers alike. Why not make turn signals on a car an option? I see no reason why everyone needs turn signals on their car. From what I've seen there is a statistically significant number (less than 5 percent) of drivers on the road that don't use them. These people are forced to purchase something that apparently they don't want and surely won't use. The whole point of signalling is to COMMUNICATE with each other. When we do so, we are combining courtesy with a healthy respect for the fact that we are hurtling along in objects made of steel, capable of reducing us to pulp on contact. And by the way, you're driving me crazy because you forgot to turn your signal off ten minutes ago!!

  • Do not tailgate me!

  • If you tailgate me, I'll slow down. Unless you try to pass me, in which case, I might speed up. And if we're in a no-passing zone, I'll slow down even more. Just. To. Piss. You. Off!

  • Merge

  • Just do it already, for godnessake! If the other drivers value their cars, they'll make room for you. Quit sitting at the end of the merge lane waiting for a big opening. Maybe you should turn your signal on, so people will understand that you want to change lane, okay? You're making the rest of us late for work, and we're going to have to speed to make up the difference.

  • Wait your turn!

  • Do you patiently wait in your lane and in front there's a sign saying "Construction ahead - this lane ends..." for the lanes either on your left or right and then you see all these impatient a$$-drivers zoom down the about-to-end lane, then force their way over into the main lane that you've been patiently waiting; in order to "jump in line". Frick! Just wait your turn, damnit! Is it really going to kill you to be ten cars back in line? It is really going to make that much difference in how long it takes to get where you're going? The answer is no! I'll do what I can to make sure you don't merge and get in front of me!

  • Turn your Lights on!

  • It's not so that you can see better but it's so that others, especially me can see "precious" YOU when it is raining, foggy, early morning or evening time!

  • Do not block!

  • Keep your eyes ahead, way ahead and not just one car-length in front of you. If the light ahead is turning red ~ it is dumb to speed up and block the cross street. It's just rude and plain stupid to do so. Instead, take your foot off the gas pedal and let your car cruise. Do not annoy me more than I already am!

  • Learn to Park!!

    Jeez, how hard is it to park in between the lines of your assigned stall? Also to park as straight as possible to make room for the people, like myself, to be able to park next to you? Don't just park anyhow you like and occupy 2 stalls. Frick! Until then...

  • //m.u.s.i.c V.I.D.E.O

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